The internet is flooded with motivational videos, blogs and articles to answer the question and show us the process. A lot many things shared there indeed are quite helpful if we use our brain. And, the brain is right, unfortunately! Why ‘unfortunately’?
The heart silently groans in pain that no amount of consolation helps. Heartaches are so normal nowadays that the repercussions and painful sensations have been normalized by everyone. It happens, you bear it and you grow. The commonest and the only suggestion you receive. And, it’s right, perhaps!
People say you find happiness when you expect nothing from others. The fact is you will not get anything from others as others will forget you and will not even care for you. So, obviously, when they have decided not to give you anything and not to be with you how will you expect anything from them?
Everything compels us to forcefully push our emotional intelligence to believe what the brain has already discovered. It’s good. No complaint. However, it is also true that an individual who has stopped expecting anything from anyone had once (or perhaps multiple times) got kicked and completely bruised by another human being and now they just don’t feel anything but determined to spend a life expecting nothing from others.
Not All FOLLOW What They PREACH
This blog will be read also by those people who have intentionally caused heartaches to others. Those people also, in public, sympathize and question why people have to break hearts and hurt one’s emotions. They have become Robots applying their intelligence round-the-clock so that they can smoothly act and advocate for causes they don’t give a damn about in their own lives. Words and Actions go in opposite directions.
The fact is we all have become Robots. Either we were born Robots (more than 75%) or we got turned into robots by those robotic geniuses. We use all our Intelligence (maybe Artificial intelligence also) to suffocate and smother our hearts and minds. And, then we expect to be happy.
We are Fed and We are Instructed to believe that our brain will find us happiness and fulfilment. The intelligence, analytical and calculative skills we use in living our life always will bring us happiness.
Another statement that has become a universal fact is that “happiness is found within”. But, I dare to ask if happiness is found within us only then why God has created so many other human beings like us on this earth? Is it to challenge our sense and state of self-cultivated happiness? Why was the heart filled with expectations, hope, love, and care then?
The Torture that Is the Truth, Now!
If you want to be happy you just focus on yourself. The real story is you have no other way but to focus on yourself as others have happily got you out of their focus to stay happier.
The truth is if you are ever sincere, honest and passionate about something or someone it will cause you pain. Not because it is the Rule. But, It is the Popular Pattern.
The Ugly Diplomacy & Smartness
Hiding the truth and confusing others with ambiguous statements is glorified as Diplomacy. Being with multiple opposite partners before using your brain to decide with whom you can marry and have kids is justified as sensibility and judiciousness. You are a smart person to pick people like you would do with grocery items or garments at a store.
Love = Care+Respect+Passion+Compassion
People will lecture you that love is not everything. You need to have respect empathy, loyalty, compassion, and care for the partner as well. Well said, no doubt. But, explain to me please who told you Love is minus Respect, Loyalty, Care, Empathy, and Compassion?
Love emotion is not restricted to having strong physical attraction, giving kisses, calling each other lovey-dovey names, or having sex. When you love you have all sorts of positive emotions and huge respect and a protective Instinct for that person, without the tendency to damage the individual.
Within the purview of the definition of Love, all these emotions naturally come along. So, please, don’t say “Love is not enough and you need to respect, care, and, support and emphasize also”. Because, my friends, love itself encompasses all these feelings and instincts. And, these will automatically reflect in their actions. Period.
People who play games with you by giving mixed signals and getting cold after initiating the feeling of love are cruel. They are everywhere, regardless of caste, religion, community, nationality, age and gender.
Women don’t do it, men do it — is complete hogwash!
Mature people won’t do it but the younger generation might do it is equally a complete piece of crappy notion.
Anyone with no regard for human feelings and is utterly selfish and extremely calculative will be indifferent to you after coming close and running away calculating other potential sources of greater gains.
Why Being Self-reliant is Necessary, Now?
It is, therefore, important to safeguard yourself by not falling prey to the game of such individuals. It will cut you deep and cause you immense pain. With time it Doesn’t heal automatically. But, as days, months and years pass you learn to focus on other things and not be taken down by the pains you felt once. You mature, burying the innocence inside you that once you felt so comfortable to nestle in your heart.
Practically, No Way to Ignore Emotions
There is practically no way that can suit and comfort your heartache. Only you can help yourself that is also not a very accurate philosophy. Your life and Your Situation will force you to accept the terms that have been dictated to you. And, you will have to agree to that as you don’t have any other option truly.
Treating heartache completely is practically not possible in today’s world for genuinely innocent (not stupid of course) people. Don’t Use and Don’t Get Used–is the only shield and weapon available to you.
You don’t have any option but to focus on yourself though it will not be up a very healthy habit as we are social animals. Nevertheless, it will protect you from further bulldozing the precious emotions your heart carries. And, yes, I dare to say more than 75% of people have no emotions in their hearts because they are always focused on sharpening the intellect in the brain, which eventually also doesn’t make them quite happy. Vacuum stays in their heart. The sad part is those already-damaged people, in the process of gaining more, already had damaged a lot many other nice persons who were once fit to be called Human Beings.
Try to stay happy by distancing yourself from such people both physically and emotionally. Be more self-dependent as maximum other people arrive to hold your hand to leave it shortly most of the time. It’s not a good habit. It will just save you from feeling abandoned suddenly after dreaming of togetherness.
Believe in Yourself and Better Days to Arrive
Believe that you are a powerful person.
Believe that you can achieve what you focus on without belittling others and damaging others.
Believe that a universe resides right inside you so you can write your destiny if you stay positive and keep all negative people at 10*10 arm’s length.
Believe that you deserve happiness peacefulness love and everything good that is there in the world.
When we believe in ourselves, without being proud and arrogant, and decide to be happy, happiness surely follows.
Express yourself and your desires in more positive terms, rather than using negative words. Don’t say “I don’t feel good” to yourself. Try phrasing it in “I want to feel much better”. It does better, indeed!
These are not fake promises. Do practice it. Be grateful for the blessings you already have in your life. Focus on the things and believe you have achieved them already. Keep on with your course of action that brings you joy. Magic will happen. Heartache will disappear, but slowly.
Take care my, friends!
