Most of the UNhappiness we experience in our lives is due to our tendency to control people and situations in our lives.
Well, I admit that we all want deep down to things to happen in ways that serve us the best. We want our dear and near ones to behave and act in ways that please us. But, it is a futile desire that distracts us from the possibility of staying truly happy in life.
Happiness deserts you when you desire to control others. Simple!
Being Controlling is Bad: Why?
The reason is straightforward. When you try to control others you are holding them back from showing who they are in reality.
It is like you are forcefully trying to condition them to behave in a particular manner that will guarantee your happiness. My dear, that happiness is an illusion. It is like living in a bubble and watching the world through a pink glass.
Events and people will find a way to follow their natural course and intentions behind your back or in ways you will have no clue about.
Let them…
If your friends choose to abandon you and do merrymaking leaving you behind, let them do it. You will feel bad for a while but you will get to know how friendly your friends indeed are to you.
If your partner is showing interest in others, then let her or him do it. If they are trying to approach others, let them do it. You will surely feel an intense heartache for the time being. But, you can realize how much in true love they indeed are with you.
If your colleagues or relatives are pretending to be your well-wishers and speaking ill of you to others, let them.
If the interview for your favorite job doesn’t go well and they decide to go on with someone they deem to be a better option than you, let it be. You will feel disappointed for a while. However, now you know you can look for more and better options elsewhere that will perfectly match both your job expectations and the eligibility criteria.
All these realizations and revelations open your door to genuine reasons that will bring joy to your life.
There is no need for control other than exercising self-control. After discovering the truth, you will be in total control of the decision you make regarding your next move. You are to decide whether to forgive and continue or to forgive and go on your way to find genuine reasons to be happier in life.
It is the wisdom that everybody needs to master to discourage the controlling behavior that, in all sense, never serves anyone. Never.
Let others do what they want to do. Let others be what they want to be. That way, you will always get to know the ‘real version’ of everybody around you.
Have the Patience to Wait and Watch
Believe, Trust, Watch, Wait for things to follow naturally, and Decide your next move.
The discovery or realisation need not always be so harsh as I have exemplified in the paragraphs above.
Maybe your friends cut you off from their intimate meeting because they are planning a surprise party for you. Or, maybe one of them has got into some serious trouble, so wanted to discuss it instantly and were not in that mental frame to send invitations to every friend on the list. Wait and watch the actual reason.
Maybe your partner approached someone not to dump you but just to have a conversation with no romantic interest at all. Maybe your partner had some other intention that in no way can be categorized as hurting you or being bad to you. Wait and watch what follows.
Maybe the job interview, you are worrying about screwing up, would have never served your professional interest.
And how do you get to know and realize it? By letting them do what they are doing and by having the patience to go with the flow sometimes. Have the patience and courage to see what follows.
Don’t panic and don’t try to exercise your control out of the anxiety. Be wiser.
The Wisdom
The wisdom is that when you stop trying to control external events and other people to behave in what you think to be the ‘appropriate’ course or style, you get to realize the reality fully. No confusion ever gets to cloud and crowd your judgment.
Just relax and do your deeds while going with the flow and not trying to control anybody or anything. Reality, in its course, will always serve you well.
Remember,
When you let others do what they want to do and be whatever they want to be, they are showing you the Real ‘who they are’.
When you let the situations in life unfold without trying to control them, life leads you to a better state of well-being. It’s because once you know the reality, you can fully be in charge of what your next action or your decision should be.
You can always control your actions, your thought process, your state of happiness, and everything that involves you and you only.
Trust the Universe (God or whatever you call it) as it is your Best Friend. Sometimes just let your worries and struggles go and wait to receive the happiness that your best friend has in store for you.
Be Less Controlling. Be Wiser. Be Happier
